Devour Music

i found out moments ago my aunt ended her battle with cancer. i've lost a lot of people i love in my life, which also goes to say i've been blessed to share a sense of love with so many people. the weight of loss is always so so difficult, i can't think of anything else right now but maybe writing about her will help. my aunt terry was born and raised in louisiana, she had a soul and charm so rooted in the energy of new orleans. before i was born, she had ended her marriage with her husband, came out, and met my aunt debbie. they've been together ever since. she exuded a deeply kind, silly, a little schemy, and deeply empathetic presence. growing up she would show up to every family gathering with a deck of Uno cards. no matter where we were, this became a ritual of us gathering together, the laughter, the sassiness, the sense of joy and excitement. she was quick to ditch the adults and hang out with us kids, and we absolutely loved having her around. whether it was card games, beading, watercolors, or any other arts and crafts, she brought so much goodness into a space by being there. im so lucky i had the chance to talk to her the other night on the phone. it was weird knowing it was probably the last time we would ever speak to one another, the conversation started out so normal as i was trying to hide the fact i'd just been crying moments ago. she was asking how i'd been and i was telling her about my week alone in the catskills recording music, how special that time was. i felt anxious to address this colossal elephant between us, but i just took a deep breath, and told her how much i was going to miss her. i told her how much those memories meant to me, how much her kindness impacted me as a kid, and how lucky i felt to have her as my aunt. you cant take anything with you when its over, but i was hoping those words could be a comfort to hold onto until then. taking a second now for a little nudge in this soft moment to recommend you reach out to the people you love, im gonna miss her a lot. most every meditation i've recorded i've done totally alone, but i was lucky enough to record my 31st meditation while i was out in california with her there, it felt really special to share that with her. if you can, try and do something nice for someone else today, i think that would make her happy. lots and lots of love, coulou